Think Positive, (or at least something other than negative)

My oldest son Ricky who lives in San Diego emailed me a nice graduation speech from David Foster Wallace, a really good contemporary writer who recently passed away. The gist of his speech is to avoid being selfish and judgmental - which we all tend to be - of other people around us. That instead of the bad assumptions we conjure in our heads, we should think of good ones. For example, he says, the reckless driver who cut you off on the freeway - don't immediately assume that he's a jerk. Come up with something positive: maybe he's a father rushing his kid to the hospital. We have that choice but we all get caught up with ourselves and daily routines that we assume anyone who gets in our way is probably up to no good.

Anyway, last night Tess and I were on one of our evening walks in our Mililani neighborhood with our dog, Koa, and we were discussing this topic. We both admitted that at times we've been guilty of being judgmental and that maybe we should exercise coming up with alternate scenarios when confronted with what may, on the surface, appear to be a**holes. And seemingly on cue, a guy drives by with blaring music on his car stereo. Tess looks at me. "What about that guy? What can be a good excuse for him?" "Well," I said, "he could be on his way to his third job and had only a couple hours of sleep so he needs the loud music to keep him awake." Tess thought that was pretty good.

I said, "I got one for you. The other day, I pulled over in front of our house while I waited for RP (our youngest son), to move his car out of the driveway so I can park in the garage. I noticed from my rear view mirror a car with the driver getting impatient. After I drove into the garage, I stepped out and RP re-parked behind me on the driveway. The impatient driver, who happens to be your friend with the Lassie-looking dog..." I'll pause here for some background info and dramatic effect.

The guy with the Lassie-looking dog is one of our neighbors, an older gentleman with a balding head, who for some reason is friendly to Tess but not to me. We often pass each other walking our dogs and I've waved hi, flashed the shaka sign, or said hello, but he just ignores me. One time Koa and I were on one side of the street and Mr. Baldy was on the other with Lassie. Koa, a naturally friendly Boxer, attempted to get over-friendly by pouncing on a passerby so I grabbed him (Koa, not the passerby) by the collar to restrain him. And of course, Mr. Baldy after seeing the commotion, took the opportunity to teach Lassie. He made her sit and pointing to my dog, he was talking to her in a lecturing manner. Now you know why this guy is not really my pal, per se.

So back to regular programming. Tess's friend, finally free from the huge traffic congestion in front of my house, drives slowly by, windows rolled down, his dog in the back, and gives me the dirtiest look, or "the stinky eye" as we call it here in Hawaii. "So what do you think about that?," I asked Tess. And without missing a beat she said, "Maybe he had diarrhea and had to go home quick to use the restroom."

Bienvenido a Mexico!

My wife, Tess, and I caved in. We've been prodded so many times by family and friends, so on Sep 1, 2008, we finally went on our first cruise. To Mexico for six days. We embarked from San Diego, California and sailed to Cabo San Lucas and Encenada on a 75,000-ton Carnival cruise ship, the Elation; if anything, to satisfy our curiosity and disprove our stereotypes and fears of cruises.

1. Cruises are for old people. Yes, and for young and middle-aged people, too. There were people from all walks of life and from different countries. While the ship was underway, the staff had activities and venues for everyone including stage shows, dance instruction, gym/aerobics, putt-putt golf, bingo, karaoke, disco club, live bands, casino, swimming pool, and a running track! I've seen some old people's moves on the dance floor that put the young ones to shame!

2. We'll get sea sick. I was more worried about Tess. She actually did great! Just a little bit wobbly on the first day and after that she was fine. She came well prepared, though. She had a "sea band" (bracelet), patch, and Dramamine. This was my biggest fear. Prior to this, she's had bad cases of sea sickness whenever we got on boats. I was really glad she overcame that on this trip. She was so confident, she gave away her patch to one woozy gentleman on our dining table on our first night!

3. Cruises are expensive. Wrong. Cruises are probably the most cost-effective way to vacation. The whole package included our food, beverage, lodging, and transportation. The food was excellent with so many choices: fine dining, buffet, sushi, pizza, grill, and 24-hour room service. And you can eat as much as you want! We met one guy who worked up a big appetite everyday by going to the pool before each meal. His theory was, "the more you eat, the cheaper your cruise becomes." He was my hero.

4. The ship is cramped. I was pleasantly surprised. The ship is virtually a floating hotel! The midsection had a lobby with elegant interior decor and a skylight with view elevators that went all the way up to the 12th deck. Our room was spacious with a big window, a queen size bed and ample bath. The restaurants, clubs, and function rooms were grand and matched some of those on terra firma. The only time I felt claustrophobic was when we had too many people doing line dancing on the deck during a raucous team dance contest! But that's another story.

5. Service is cheesy and reminiscent of "The Love Boat." On the contrary, I think the staff, composed of people from 20 different countries, truly enjoyed their jobs and oftentimes went out of their way to make sure our cruise was enjoyable and memorable. From Stu, the funny Aussie cruise director, to Mario, our Rwandan waiter who reminded us of our wine-tasting appointment, to Michael, our Filipino steward who made those towel animals daily that put a smile on our faces.

6. The port of calls are tourist traps. Only if you're a willing prey. Mexico is very much like my home country, the Philippines. The people are very friendly and they want to sell you all kinds of stuff. But they're not pushy at all. As a matter of fact, just like the Filipinos, Mexicans are very generous. After a delicious lunch of lobster and shrimp at a place called Habana Banana in Encenada, Tess, with some coaxing from me, tried out her Spanish. She asked our waiter, "¿Pueden dos libres margaritas?" And we got two free margaritas! Not sure if she winked at the hombre or maybe the sight of the good tip that was already on the table, but it worked!

So now, Tess and I are converts. Cruises are relaxing and "has something for everyone," as the Love Boat song goes. We even did our favorite past times: Tess shopped and I played golf in Cabo. We enjoyed our first cruise so much Tess is already planning the next one! How do you say, "Can we have two free drinks?" in Greek?
More pictures.

Fore!

If you're not a golfer, the word "fore" is used, or rather, yelled out on the golf course to warn other players of an errant golf ball. Blog citizens, consider this your warning. I'm new to blogging and who knows what will come out of this. I am an avid golfer and if my game is an indication of my blogging skills, then expect the unexpected and prepare to duck.

The title of my blog site is Save Par. Par is another golf lingo that means "a number assigned to an individual hole and to the full collection of holes on a course that represents the expected number of strokes it should take to play each hole" (http://golf.about.com). Hence, to "save par" is to scramble for par on a hole. So now you're thinking, "your blog is about a golfer who struggles to be average." Yeah, but not really. For one, to amateur golfers like me, par is a very good score. But on a more personal basis, I believe that life imitates golf and vice versa. So this blog is really about life and my swing at it. Fore!